Here is the full recap of my first half-marathon. I apologize for some not so nice details but I wanted to keep it “real” and not be all rainbows and smiley faces.

 Carb starving and carb loading were a complete FAIL. I was supposed to carb starve (starve your body of carbohydrates) at 3 days prior to the race. The day started out well enough but then a longtime friend was in town and we had an impromptu girls night out. There was wine and there were appetizers; not carb-free but I had a great time with old friends.
Friday I got another visitor – but this visitor was unwanted. This visitor made me in pain, bloated, and gave me some gastrointestinal issues. I have no idea what I ate this day. To my benefit I did go to bed early that night.
Saturday I woke up really early (good girl). Carlos drove me down to the expo to pick up my packet and meet up with my friends. I was a mess. I still had all the issues from Friday but to add to that I was in a really bad mood and various body parts were aching (knees, butt, back, legs in general). Am I falling apart? I go to lunch with friends (after sitting in what seems like the worst traffic in Central Florida history). My stomach does not agree with my lunch. Gastrointestinal issues get worse and I end up throwing up later in the day. I am pretty sure that I got no race enhancing nutrition on Saturday since I ended up not eating anything for the rest of the day.

Race Day
Sunday morning I wake up early – it was 2:30 am or something. I drink some powder electrolyte mix and have a banana. I actually feel good despite still having cramps. We arrive at the race and meet up with my friends. I try to keep drinking electrolyte enhanced water while we chit chat a little bit. I glance around looking for other friends who are doing the race. I am unable to locate any of them. We do a group photo and head to our corrals.  In our walk to the corrals (which is a twenty minute walk by the way), we get stuck in a bottleneck that delays us an extra ten minutes. Some smart guy put the porta potties along the walk-way and the lines of the shitters were backing the rest of us up. We use the second group of porta potties. I stay extra long to make sure I get all the pee pee out. We finally get to the corrals but super-fast friend in the “A” corral is running late. I wished “Good Luck” to her and very-fast friend in corral “B”. I find my corral – the very last “H”.  My start is 40 minutes later. I stand around and twiddle my thumbs and try to get away from the girls singing Spice Girls” If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” at the top of their lungs. Hadn’t Carlos had warned me pre-race that it was a good idea to pee in every potty group you see up to your corral? There is a potty group outside our fenced in area but I didn’t have to go…until about 20 minutes into my wait. Crap, the other racers have started. I am already comfortable in my corral. Am I going to get out and run over and then try to squeeze my way back in? I decided that I wait (what was I thinking?).
Start time is fun. The fairy godmother does some kind of “Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo” and there are big fireworks. The first two groups get big fireworks – we get little fireworks by the time I start.
I decided to keep passing up the log lines for porta potties but I am forced to stop after 5k mark. My 5k was great but had to wait at least 8 minutes for porta potty. That sucks.
Other than the pee pee, miles 1-6 were awesome. I mean really awesome. Running feels effortless. Running through the magic kingdom was nice. My only complaint is that I couldn’t get any of the pro photographers to take my pic. WTF. One kept telling me to go to the left or some shit. “You are the dude with the camera pointed at me, take my picture dammit.” (I later discovered that someone else had taken my picture but I have no idea where they were).
Around mile 7 I started to get a little delirious. This when I began to yell at things. Pre-race I was warned that the first “water” tables you see were powerade and if you wanted water you needed to go to the second set of tables. I kept accidentally picking up powerade even though I thought I was trying to get water. After about the third time I went crazy and yelled at a cup of powerade “I hate you powerade!”; then powerade was tossed away. Additionally this started the one of many narrow stretches where pretty much everyone was walking (4 or more abreast- against the rules) and I could not get around them. It was quite frustrating for me because I would lose focus when trying to get around people. I really should have qualified pre-race to be put in an earlier group.
Soon after the powerade incident I started to get pain on my left leg and left butt cheek. We started to get many ramps that were not only at an incline but they were also not level. Somewhere on one of these ramps I told my watch to “Shut up” because it was beeping at me to run again after one of my one minute walking breaks.
All the pain that I had previous did not compare to mile 11. Mile 11 proved the worst. I had to walk for at least 4 minutes. Legs and butt hurt really bad; and I think it rained at this point (ok, it sprinkled a little bit).
Finally got into epcot – Almost done. Another fn camera guy. I pose for him with cute thumbs up and the ahole won’t take my picture. I yell at him “Why won’t anyone take my picture”
I walk for one last minute and jog toward the finish. A camera guy finally takes my picture, and I give him a cheesy fake smile because I am tired. I get closer to the finish. Can’t find my husband or anyone I know in the crowd (my husband was there I guess). I sprint toward the finish and get my medal. Whoopee.
I get a ‘naner and a cool box of food goodies (hummus and gluten free crackers, yum). My man and friends are waiting for me at the reunion area. I am in a fog. Did I just finish a 13.1 mile race? My friends and I discuss going somewhere to eat post race. None of us can make a decision and I am not sure I will be able to keep a meal down at this point. We decide to go home and plan to meet up later in the afternoon after we have rested. That never happened. Much later I finally muster up the energy to walk down to the local steakhouse and get myself some meat. My energy level doesn’t last long. I am in bed early.
Day After
I take the day off of work to rest and get a massage. The 60 minute massage was awesome but not long enough. I wish I would have purchased the longer one. Legs still really sore post massage. The rest of the day is spent on the couch finishing The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest.

Will I do another one? I don’t know, probably. Will I keep running? I want to I think I will. It is a week later and I have yet to run again. Only time will tell.

Mile Breakdown

Mile Time Notes
1 12:55 Crap! I have to pee.
2 12:22 Still have to peee
3 12:27 Where is the potty?
4 21:30 pee pee time
5 12:29 I love this mile
6 13:00 This one too, oooh a castle
7 13:23 I hate everyone, especially this cup of powerade.
8 13:01 Am I still running?
9 12:57 What is this vanilla gel? This is crap.
10 13:35 I thought I already passed the mile 10 marker
11 14:55 Legs hurt must stop running
12 15:08 Is it raining?
13 15:02 I swear I was running (most of it)

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