I am hard on myself. I am extremely hard on myself. I think I am because I have been taught not to flaunt my accomplishments. I can see that no matter what I do, there is someone who has done more and accomplished more. I never enjoy my accomplishments. The past six months have been the busiest ever for me.
I had some personal issues to deal with that were mentally hard to handle (and I survived).
I completed a 13 week Dale Carnegie class (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Effective Speaking, and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living).
I participated in an 6 month profession to leadership program that is limited to 100 employees a year (out of 8000). The program required 5-20% of my time weekly. We had a group project and executive presentation at the end of the program
I ran a half-marathon and 15K and trained for the races for months, sacrificing many weekends of social events for early morning long runs.
I have been release lead at work the past 5 months – meaning I am responsible for the coordination and completion of most activities for my team.
In the middle of all the other tasks, I attended a week-long technology conference to enhance my technical skills.
I maintain regular job and home life and managed to sneak in a short California vacation.
For my leadership class I had to take an emotional intelligence training class. I have always heard about emotion intelligence but I always assumed it meant don’t show anger at work and cry. What it really means is a little more complex and helps explain what may hold me back in my personal life and career. One of the concepts talked about was the concept of 4 sharks of irrational thinking. Each shark represents a trait that can challenge your effectiveness as a leader. I exhibit traits of all four sharks to a small degree but the biggest connection I have is with the self-rating shark. I have been very proud of myself the past year for my self-awareness. You don’t need to tell me my faults and bad behaviors because I am already aware of them. Well am I? As part of my training there was a feedback survey where I and my peers rated me on certain behaviors. Guess what? I rated myself lower than my peers rated me on every category. Something is wrong here. Maybe I am not as self-aware as I think I am.
Maybe I am too hard on myself.
This attitude needs to end. Any suggestions? I have thought about writing accomplishments down so when I am in a self doubting mode, I can pull myself back up.
Something like:
I ran a half-marathon at night when I am normally sleeping
I averted an argument with a difficult co-worker by remaining calm.
I only remember my faults, and it is keeping me from being the great person I know I can become.
You need to be critical but you also need to celebrate your accomplishments. And I am working on it.
Growing With Leala 