2011 was a crappy year. I am not one to shed all my personal details on the internet but 2011 has been one hell of a roller-coaster for me . I am starting to realize this silly little blog that has little content and very little direction has been very therapeutic for me. While I don’t feel comfortable pouring my heart out to everyone on a day to day basis, it is very uplifting to blog about positive aspects of life; to concentrate on things that make me happy and make a permanent memoir of those moments. Looking back hopefully there will be a catalog of good times and positive memories. All the negativity will be in the distant past.
I used to have a reoccurring dream that I had moved into an apartment in New York City. Typically a girlfriend of mine would be my roommate. Always at some point in the dream I would walk home and realize my apartment was in a bad neighborhood (sometimes I would get lost on the way home). Inevitably I would come home to an apartment that has been broken into and all my crap was stolen.
People who know me know that I am not materialistic. I will buy a few nice things here and there but for the most part material things are low on my list. So what does this reoccurring dream mean? It probably means that deep down I have a fear of losing something. Most appropriate in my case it probably means losing people you care about, people you love, and people who love you. Recognizing this fear, and after the extremely tough year that is behind me, I hope to make 2012 a year where I foster better relationships with my husband, family, and friends. People are very important and are essential in helping you pull your head above the water when you feel weights are pulling you down. This also means that I will cut people out of my life who choose to bring me down rather than lift me up. I am not one for making resolutions. Resolutions seem to be a setup for failure. Didn’t Yoda say “Do… or do not. There is no try.” ? I feel resolutions are all try. In 2012 I will continue to exercise. In 2012 I will be more compassionate; but only in such a way where my energy is not being sucked dry.
Luckily 2011 is ending on a high note. I have had lots of good vibes lately from friends and family and running is making me regain some self-confidence. I am not expecting 2012 to be this miraculous year. I hope it will be ordinary. Why do you ask? Because my ordinary life is in fact, fine. Let us raise our glasses to another ordinary year!
Happy New Year!!!
Growing With Leala 