Bali Silent Retreat Final day

I actually hear the first gong this morning, my last morning. I have a weird dream about a kitten that was actually a baby tiger that ended up destroying my house …. not gonna read into that now.

After all the sweating for the past couple days I actually am a little chilly last night. But I’m not complaining because I love a little chill.

My arms are sore today – maybe it is maneuvering around rocks or yoga yesterday. I don’t plan on doing any yoga or meditation today since I am just preparing to leave. As I write this I hear Balinese music off in the distance.

As the sun comes up it doesn’t take me long to start sweating again. The sun is out and it is hot. I’m looking forward to drinking caffeine in air-conditioning.

Breakfast is amazing of course. I engorge since it might be a while until I am able to eat lunch. The sourdough bread is delicious as always as well as numerous vegetables and fruit things that I cannot recall the names of. The food is really worth the price. I only wish there was coffee.

I finish my book before I leave and return it to the library upstairs.

So what did I get out of all of this?

I don’t know.

I certainly don’t immediately feel any major healing but I do have some pretty good tools to take for when I return home (to use to heal on my own).

Also once home I really want to find every vegan restaurant and try all the dishes; but I think that I’ll be disappointed because quite frankly the food at this retreat is pretty awesome. I have never had anything quite like it.

Perhaps I need more time here. Hopefully I can return someday.

Now off to my surf retreat…..my ride should arrive soon…..

Bali Silent Retreat Day 3

The wasps want in their room. I’ve been keeping the door to my room closed and I can tell they are annoyed.

I again miss the first gong and wake to people stirring. It doesn’t matter though since I’m skipping morning meditation today since I want to attend the afternoon session instead. I do attend yoga and there is a different instructor that I find more challenging. Even some of her “easy” poses I struggle with. I feel defeated when she performs a stand up from sitting move that the whole class can do except for me. The move is supposed to be a sign of good health. It makes me poo all the progress I’ve made. I still feel fat, I still feel ill. Not much seemed to change over these months. I’m losing my patience. Will I always be this mess of a person? She does say one thing that resonates: “breathe through the discomfort”… so for now I just keep breathing.

After yoga it is breakfast and then a trip to the hot springs. It is early and there are not many people at the springs. I start at the rocks at the river below and I find it really hard to navigate the rocks to get to the springs in the perfect spot. However once I get to my spot it is worth it. If feels good on a tired body to have cold water rush over you. It is futile to try to move to a better spot because no new spots will compare to the perfectness of the spot I just left. I finally take some time to be in the moment and enjoy it. After a little while I decide it’s time to try the hot pools. I didn’t love any of them. All felt dirty. There is a regular pool the top with some running water that I used for water meditation . “I deserve love. I deserve love.” was my mantra. I gave myself meditation love hugs. It is tough to believe I deserve love after feeling unloved for so long. Is this how it all works?

Return to retreat

I am back at the retreat after a nice few hours at the springs. In the afternoon I attend meditation that is a guided meditation that takes you through the 7 chakras. I did pretty well during this meditation except for there are two chakra colors that I struggled with and I believe those were the orange and green corresponding to the lower abdomen and heart respectively. When I read about why those are blocked it kind of makes sense the way my life has been the last 5 years (heck maybe last 10 years). I still have work to do when I get home.

I do doze off during some silent moments but wake myself up before the snoring gets bad.

After meditation I finish exploring the retreat and spend some time at the medicinal garden. I love gardens.

I also observe other areas on site.

I also visit the water meditation area.

One more peaceful night then I am off to my next adventure.

Siem Reap lonely birthday

Today is my birthday and I am still in Siem Reap Cambodia. I am alone and inexplicably sad. I mostly don’t mind my alone time but today I am down in the dumps. To cheer myself up I try some some back home normalcy. I google a nearby cafe that has brunch dishes. Brunch sounds like a great way to treat myself. I order french toast at Sister Srey Cafe.

After a “taste of home” style brunch I head back to my hotel room because 1. It is another hot day and 2. Still don’t have motivation to do anything. I guess it is normal after all this traveling to take days off but it always comes with guilt – what am I missing out on seeing by taking this day off.

Back in my room I check social media for glimpses of back home and watch some movies on netflix.

I get a call from the hotel staff making sure I am ok since I did not come down to breakfast. I find it odd but charming that they are looking out for me. I tell them I am ok but had breakfast elsewhere this morning. A few minutes later there is a knock at my door.

It is the hotel staff with a plate of birthday fruit and balloons. They planned to surprise me with this at breakfast but I wasn’t there. It is the sweetest thing ever and not at all expected. I spend my time watching movies and now chowing down on yummy fruit.

I go to the pool again for a little bit but then decide I must go out for a drink or two on my birthday, even if I am doing it alone.

I head down to pub street again and find a cute little cocktail bar Miss Wong Cocktail Bar. I order a cocktail and dim sum then wander around some more.

I head back toward my hotel when some horrible karaoke singing catches my ear. I could use another drink so I sit down at the bar with some extremely drunk american expats and tourists. I learn all about the art of living in Cambodia as an American (visa runs and all). One guy is getting too uncomfortably friendly for my taste so I head out after a drink or two, besides I head to Phnom Penh in the morning. Not too terrible a day though considering I started out in a sour mood….

Drunk karoake. No I did not participate.

Siem Reap Dinner

After my long day of sightseeing I catch dinner around the corner at The Christa Restaurant & Bar where I get to try Cambodian style curry. It is quite good.

I call it an early night.

Next Day

I could do another day of sightseeing today but I instead choose to stay close to my hotel.

I start the day at the breakfast buffet at the hotel. They missed me yesterday since I woke up so early to catch the sunrise at Angkor Wat.

I am exhausted from the heat and traveling so I book a massage through my hotel and because it is Cambodia it is very affordable. The female masseuse comes to my room. We don’t speak each other’s language which doesn’t matter too much except I want to make sure she doesn’t do any back/hand/whatever cracking like what happened in Thailand. I try to communicate this in mime and not sure she understands but fortunately my massage had no cracking and was just what I needed.

Afterwards I decide to take advantage of the pool. It is small but only enhabited by two others who don’t stay long. The laps I do are refreshing but once I get my fill I decide I need to go try to find yoga pants for my yoga retreat I have scheduled in about a week. Unfortunately I am a terrible shopper in my home country and even worse in a foreign country. I cannot find yoga pants. It is hot so I give up.

I spend the evening exploring pub street instead.

I settle on a restaurant with balcony seating where I get to try Fish Amok at Traditional Khmer Food Restaurant. The balcony over looks a narrow alley with stores and other restaurants. Not a ton of foot traffic but it keeps me sort of entertained while I eat.

Fish Amok (fish with traditional Cambodian curry made lemongrass, chilli, coconut milk and **amok** “ngor” leaves, served in banana leaf)

Tomorrow is my birthday and I have nothing planned. I decide I need to go back to my room and make some sort of plans for tomorrow.

Arrived in Ho Chi Minh City

I am now in Ho Chi Minh City, the last town in my Vietnam exploration (or commonly known as Saigon). In my trip planning it was very important for me to include this city since it would help complete my tour of all the different parts of Vietnam. Each area of Vietnam has its own culture and style of food and I wanted to experience as much of it as I could given my short window (3 1/2 weeks in the country).

I am seated next to two friendly Vietnamese men on my flight. One lives in the United States and is visiting family, and the other is an infectious disease doctor in Saigon. I probe the doctor about the need for Malaria pills (since Cambodia is coming up soon). He assures me that I will not need the pills in any of the places I am visiting. It is so much more helpful to get the advice from a doctor that lives in the region you are visiting. The doctor gives me his business card in case I need any help around while in the city.

I stay in a hostel-like hotel in the middle of the action for my Saigon visit. I book a private room at the very pretty Aquarizon Boutique Hostel on the busy Bui Vien street. The hotel is funky and cool. Unfortunately my first room assigned is too moldy and musty for me to enjoy. After one night of sleep I fear I will get a sinus infection. Luckily the hotel has a spare room and is willing to work with me. I am moved to another room in the front of the hotel. The new room still has a musty smell but not as bad as my original room. I decide it is good enough for my stay. The noise from the street is louder in the front of the hotel but luckily I can mostly sleep through background noise; plus I have my ear plugs if I really need them.

Because I book a private room instead of the hostel dorm I get an upgraded breakfast. My breakfast is a buffet with more choices at the sister hotel next door. It is a bit of a maze to access the breakfast room but there is connectivity via one of the upper floors of my hotel.

My first evening I decide to try some mexican around the corner. I ask for a seat outside so I can people watch at Sancho’s Craft Beer & Mexican Kitchen.

Bui Vien Street.
There are no cars at this time but usually you have to be careful to dodge cars while walking on the street.

Bun Cha 145

The next day I go out for Bun Cha. I have heard they make it differently in Saigon. It is true. It is sweeter down south. The place I choose is popular. I arrive before it opens and there is already a small line outside

I can’t resist ordering the fried banana in green rice. It has a fun chocolate dipping sauce.

I decide to wander around and find an indoor food court. I have recently eaten but make a mental note in case I run out of places to eat nearby.

The food court is next to a park. A collegiate girl stops me to practice English. She wants to major in hospitality and wishes to visit the USA someday. She tells me interesting things about the city.

I walk back to my hotel via Bui Vien to take advantage of the happy hour offered downstairs that evening.

I have tours booked tomorrow so no late night for me.